


testament

by thorbiased



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief, Hurt Thor, Hurt but no comfort, Major Character Death but not shown, Thor Needs a Hug, canon character death, he gets a drink instead :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25916521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorbiased/pseuds/thorbiased
Summary: New Asgard is without bodies to bury, so they build testaments to all they lost. and do you wonder if thor was already broken by the time they made them, so broken that he couldn’t attend the ceremonies? or was it the ceremonies, the constant reminder of what he’d lost and what he’d taken from his people that finally broke him?
Relationships: Fandral & Hogun & Sif & Thor & Volstagg, Thor & Brunnhilde | Valkyrie, Thor & Fandral, Thor & Heimdall, Thor & Hogun, Thor & Loki, Thor & Volstagg
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	testament

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by my own tweet (@heimdallstan if you want to check me out there). It was written quickly and is not even edited. It is just a pure expression of the angst I was feeling last night. Please enjoy this pile of steaming angst garbage.

It was a collective idea to make the memorials. Of course, their dead deserved warrior’s funerals, each and every one of them, but there were no bodies to burn and no ships to sink. There was scattered ash, either formed from flame or the snap of the mad titan, and there was the broken hull of a kingdom with too much to grieve. 

Thor wished it had been him to suggest it. If Frigga were there, it would have been the first thing she did, but as Thor was so often reminded, he was not Frigga. His guilt mounted with every new idea that crossed someone else’s lips.  _ Useless _ , someone in his head hissed,  _ You’re useless to them. They wouldn’t need those memorials if it weren’t for you _ . 

Thor left the meeting silently, and no one noticed him go. 

In some twist of irony, it was making the memorials that brought a bit of life back into the settlement of Asgardians. The blacksmiths and woodworkers and artists found peace in their work. Collectively, they felt as though the memorials would finally let the dead rest. 

For Thor, the memorials were a reminder of his failures. With every sketch some cautiously optimistic artist thrust his way, he felt another piece of him crack. Still, he forced a smile each time. The emptiness in his core grew, even as he watched his kingdom come back to life. 

The first one erected was a tribute to those Hela had slain. They placed it in the center of their makeshift town square. It was a stone slab, wide and squat. The names of each soldier and citizen brought down by the goddess of death were carved by hand into the surface. A garden was planted around it, full of daffodils, the symbol of new life.

Thor attended the ceremony that dedicated it with a vial of something strong hidden in his cape. Once the square was empty of mourners, Thor knelt before the stone and whispered prayers for each name above him. 

The second was for the Warriors Three, and it would stand forever by the entrance to the army’s training grounds. Three marble pillars, engraved with their names and eulogies, guarded the men and women who would guard the kingdom for all of time. 

This one, Thor liked. It was a fine tribute to his best and oldest friends, and they would’ve boasted it. The ceremony for their memorial was shorter than the last. They’d asked Thor to speak, but the second he tried his words fell flat and his tears fell hard. He was the last to leave that one, too, and when he finally did, it was on drunken legs. 

They made one for Heimdall and sat it by the sea. It was something abstract, reminiscent of swirling galaxies and mystic powers. It was painted a brilliant gold, but somehow reflected the blue and purple of the distant realms Heimdall had watched during his reign. 

Thor cursed himself for missing the dedication, but as beautiful as the statue was, it made him sick. He watched it at night from the window in his kitchen, wishing the earth beneath it would crumble, and it would fall into the sea. 

Loki’s memorial was true to its subject: over the top and dramatic as it could be. They placed it near the library, where he’d have spent most likely spent his days if were he there. It was a true to life statue of the prince with his head held high and helmet on. Despite all of Loki’s faults, only one person didn’t attend the dedication of his memorial. 

Thor couldn’t look at the damned thing. The morning they unveiled it was the last time he left his cabin during daylight hours. The king of Asgard was falling fast, even as Asgard forged ahead. 

Thanos’ victims, those felled by blade, were memorialized in the form of a small park at the edge of town. The fence and gateway that encompassed the plot of grass and flowers had brass plates on every bar, each reading a different name. 

“They’re dedicating the garden today, Thor,” Brunnhilde pleaded at his door. Her knuckles were sore from knocking. Her voice wavered as her begging turned to conviction. “Thor, no one blames you. Please, just come.” 

Thor slept through the entire day of the ceremony. 

The dusted got the last of the memorials; an archway above the entrance of town, reading  _ New Asgard _ across the top and the names of the fallen on the sides. 

Thor didn’t even know what it looked like, and Brunnhilde had given up trying to tell him. 

New Asgard had been the obvious choice for the name of their new kingdom, simply because that was what it was. A New Asgard. But there was a good metaphor there somewhere. A melding of old and new, a kingdom built on the memory of the past and an enduring hope for the future.  _ New _ but still  _ Asgard.  _

The deeper meaning was lost on Thor, who could only hear it as a cruel taunt. A New Asgard, yes, because he’d burned the last one to ash. A new start because there was nothing left of the past one but statues and gardens and memories. He’d have chosen a different name, anything but another damn reminder of all he’d destroyed. 

New Asgard was just a living monument to his past and his pain. 

Maybe that was why he left. 


End file.
